so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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