So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
