How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize