it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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