YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
