I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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