you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
