it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
