Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
