Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
