Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
