Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
