New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
