There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
