I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
