The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize