And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hello my rib-scented angel!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
