You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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