its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
