4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
