u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
