U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
