Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize