I am spending my child support on dildos
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
