Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
