I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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