Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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