it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize