Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
