True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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