singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
