i think my mom watched the whole time
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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