sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Are we still banned from the library?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
