i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
