Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
smell my finger.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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