that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
