the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
All I want is dick and wine.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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