worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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