She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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