They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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