I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
