Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
