I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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