Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
