I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
