She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
