tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
