The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
