How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize