I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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