oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
