okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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