Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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