Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
