i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
