Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
