That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
