drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
