He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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